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Oh. As Ellie starts her halting explanation, Glimmer feels her chest squeeze in on itself. It's a stupid feeling. One she shouldn't have after all this time. They've talked about this. It's better for them to be friends--and she is so, so happy to be Ellie's friend. Even with the tangled memories of the Aerie. This is part of them being friends. Ellie wants to let her know, because she understands the weird, tangled complexity of the relationship the two of them have.

It still makes her feel like she's been punched in the chest, though.

"That's... That's good!" She smiles, because she's a good friend and she wants to support Ellie and acting like a jealous idiot doesn't help anything.

"I..." She trails off, the forced cheer starting to dissipate a little. "Thanks. For letting me know." She clings a little harder to the jetty, her eyes focused down at the dark surface of the water for a moment.

"I feel so stupid," she adds after a moment and reaches up to rub at her eyes. She's not gonna cry. This is stupid. Don't cry about this, Glimmer.

"Because we've talked about this so much and I really am happy for you. I just... I can't help feeling a little jealous, I guess." She values this. Being able to be honest with Ellie.

"She's really lucky, whoever she is."

Ellie tells herself that she's dreading seeing Glimmer's hurt. But when she obviously forces a smile, no. That's definitely the worst part.

Something breaks in her chest as her face falls, but it's a rush of relief, too.

Ellie lifts her hand, hesitates on the impulse, but then reaches out to lay a hand on her shoulder.

"... is it fucked up that I'm- glad you're not just pretending that everything's fine?"

That she can see this? That Glimmer trusts her with it? That they can acknowledge feeling a little fucked up about it, and still deal?

"No, I think... I think that it's a good thing. That we can be honest with each other like this, you know?" Glimmer says with a muted sniffle. She's not really crying, just a little teary.

"You... you're one of the only people here I feel like I can do that with, you know? And we've been through all this shit together and you've literally like, saved my life..." She exhales, her head drooping a little. Then she pushes off the jetty to give Ellie and swimming sort of half-hug.

"If she breaks your heart I'm gonna kick her ass."

"Yeah. And- psh, you've saved mine. After a while it just stop counting-"

And really, she should shut up. Still hanging onto the jetty with one hand, Ellie catches Glimmer with her other arm, hugs her tightly to her, all relief.

She sputters laughter into her shoulder.

"Same," she says, and means it. "I'd fuck them up."

Glimmer squeezes in next to Ellie and gives her as tight a hug as she can manage in the water and making sure she doesn't go bumping into the dock. Her face buries against the other's shoulder for a moment, glad that the seawater will hide the wetness of her tears.

"I love you, Ellie." It's love, alright. The same love that binds her to all her friends back home. The fierce, protective love that made her willing to risk it all to save the world. The same one that can drive a person to do horrible, awful things. It burns inside of her like a miniature sun and she wouldn't be her mother's daughter if it ever burned itself away.

"No matter what happens, all you have to do is call and I'll be here to help you out."

"Don't try and do stuff on your own when you have people here for you, okay?"

Edited 2022-07-31 15:40 (UTC)

Glimmer's face buried in her shoulder hides Ellie's expression, which threatens to crumple at the simple declaration.

She hugs her tightly, unable to speak past the ache in her throat, and lays her cheek against Glimmer's hair.

When they met, Ellie hadn't felt lovable in the least. Glimmer had been one of the few people to make her feel otherwise. Nowadays she's even starting to believe them.

"Okay," she says finally. And then, softer: "You too."

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