[ Ellie, of course, drives right at the heart of it and GLimmer can feel herself start to crumple a little. She doesn't know that she wants to talk about this. She doesn't know what there even is to say, because this isn't something they actually ever talked about.

Like ever.

They had stumbled out of the Aerie right into a whole other mess back in New Amsterdam and they'd been busy and then--then they'd gotten here and Glimmer had just ignored it for a year, because it was easier not to think about it. Her grip on the neck of the bottle tightens. ]

I...

[ Part of her wants to dig and find an excuse, a reason. To tell Ellie to back off, to mind her own fucking business. Glimmer doesn't want to ruin the night more than she doesn't want to talk about this, though. ]

Astarion talked me into having some drinks. In Antiva.

[ Her voice is soft, a little ashamed. The voice that Glimmer had always apologized in back in the Aerie, every time Ellie had chastised her for drinking too much. Glimmer can remember the party, the burn of the alcohol in her throat and how easy it had been to start drinking, how easy it had been to keep it up because everyone else was having a good time.

It was normal.

She was normal.

Glimmer swallows and her throat feels thick. ]

So. I brought some home. Just... to have if I wanted some more. That's all.

[ It's not a problem if she doesn't let it be a problem. ]

It just helps me get to sleep sometimes. It's not every night.